A bad day for eating

It was cold today.  I woke up this morning to my alarm and the sound of rain, and seriously considered calling in sick to work.  All I wanted to do was stay in my nice, warm bed and cuddle with my cats while reading a good book.  But no, duty calls, and I rolled out of bed and went through my morning routine.

Break time.  Since it was cold, I wanted something warm to eat.  I checked my drawer where I keep my snacks and realized I was out of the instant oatmeal packets I kept there.  I need to go shopping.  So I throw on my jacket, grab my umbrella, and went downstairs and walked to Starbucks.  I get in line and grab an orange juice (which I really shouldn’t be drinking because it gives me awful indigestion) and wait patiently to get to the front to order a bagel with cream cheese.   Nothing goes better with a bagel than OJ.  Yum!

This quick errand takes up my 15 minute break because at 9:15am, the Starbucks at the block is usually pretty busy….and its not the fastest Starbucks you’ll ever get to.  So I make my way back to the building I work in, and back to my desk, placing my bagel in front of me.   I then shake up my OJ and then unscrew the cap, placing it off to the side so I don’t spill it by knocking it over with my elbow.

Everything is ready.  Work queued up, bagel in prime position to be eaten, and the OJ ready for drinking.  I take a bite of my bagel.  Soooo good.  I then grab my OJ and shake it.  Yes, I shake it.  Yes, I forgot I had already shaken it and unscrewed the cap.  I quickly remembered when my eyes suddenly see a wave of orange fly in front of my face in slow motion.  It actually looked kinda cool.  It stopped being cool when the OJ covered me, and part of my desk.

Yes, it went everywhere.  My hair, my face, my chest, my dress, my legs, my desk, my keyboard, my book, my monitors, my papers…..it was a sticky mess.  I quickly assessed the damage, and actually very little got on the items of my desk, and most of it got on me.  No damage done.  I started laughing.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  It was just so FUNNY!  Only I could forget I had shaken and unscrewed a bottle of OJ and then shaken it again in the span of….oh, maybe a minute.

My pod mates noticed what happened and quickly stepped into action, as I was taken over with the laughter caused by my stupidity to be able to move.  They brought me wet and dry paper towels and helped my clean up my desk.   By the time we’re done, I’ve been able to get the laughter down to a giggle.  Shaking my head at myself, I get back to work….but I’m still smiling.

Sometime in the afternoon I get the munchies.  I grab some change and make my way to the vending machine in the break room to get either a granola bar (there is usually peanut butter or honey and oat flavors to choose from), a packet of peanuts, or if neither one of those look edible, a spoon to dip into the jar of peanut butter at my desk.

I stand in front of the vending machine, see that I have all three vending machine options to choose from, and look to see if there is anything else in the vending machine that might be good for me to eat, but on the healthy-ish side.  Thats when I see them.  Wrapped in cellophane is a generic version of Hostess’ chocolate cupcakes.  Suddenly, the clouds part and light streams in through the break room windows, and a chorus of angels sing down from the heavens.  It was a sign.  I was supposed to have those cupcakes.

I count out my change and make my purchase, and then realize that I’m about to walk back to my desk with cupcakes.  Normally, this would be no big deal, but I’m pregnant, and walking into a den of mother’s who will greatly disapprove of my purchase.  I’ll have to get to my desk without anyone seeing the cupcakes, and then eat them really, really quietly.

I walk down the hallway and approach the coding section, my cupcakes held in my right hand (away from the coding desks on my left) and slightly behind me so no one from the front could spot them, or even realize that I had something in my hand unless they were looking.

Cyndi walks from her pod and across my path to get a glass of water.  I smile at her.  She stops, “What are you up to?”  I shake my head, “Nothing.”  I say this as innocently as possible.  This does not work, or maybe would have worked if I hadn’t smiled at her.  “You’re smiling like you’re up to something.”  Shit.  “What do you have behind your back?”  Double shit.  By this time, all the mothers are looking at me.  Sigh.  Busted.  I should have known better.  I hold up cupcakes.  Some shake their heads, others just smile and go back to work.  I get the “you really shouldn’t be eating that” speech.  Its not done meanly or anything, more like they feel its their duty to say it even though they know I’ll do whatever I want.  Funny, it took them less than a year of knowing me to figure that out.  It took my own mother about 16 years.

I eat my cupcakes, and they pretend to ignore me.  They were absolutely delicious.  Maybe it wasn’t such a bad day for eating after all.

About Chaos5150

I'm a medical coder by day, hermit by night, a 24 hr mommy, and a closet line-dancer whenever I get the chance. I love my daughter, I love my job, I love my friends, I love my cats, and I love my family. I love the dry heat, driving into the middle of the desert at night to see the moon and the stars, beading jewelry, torturing the unaware, and scaring people. People say I'm evil, but I'm not. I'm just a little mischievous.
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