Counting the Seconds

Today is Sunday November 13th.  I go back to work December 5th.  I go back to work in 22 days.

22 days.  That’s 534.5 hours from this moment to the moment when I clock in for the first time since going on Maternity Leave.

32,070 minutes

1,924,200 seconds

As much as I am looking forward to returning to work, as much as I am looking forward to doing a job I love with people I enjoy, its not enough time!  I need more time!

I need more time to wake up with my baby and have our conversations without worrying about making sure we’re ready and out the door on time.

I need more days in which we can just lay down on the couch with a blanket and snuggle.

I need more hours in which I can look upon her and find all the ways she’s grown.

I need more minutes in which to marvel at every new discovery she makes.

I need more seconds so I can be there to celebrate with her every “first”.

I need more time!

I never thought I would be one of those people that would want to be a stay at home mom, I never thought I would be one of those people that would enjoy being a stay at home mom, but I was wrong.  I would love to be a stay at home mom, just so I could spend my days with her, watching her change, watching her grow, watching her learn.  Its the most beautiful thing in the world to me.

Every time I see her do something for the first time I get a thrill of excitement.

Every time I notice a change in her I am overwhelmed.

Every time she does something for the first time, like looking at an object and grabbing at it, I can’t help but just watch her in wonder.

In 22 days I return to work, and I will be acutely aware of all the time I am missing with her, but I will also cherish every moment that I do have with her when I come home from work, and on the weekends.  I will eagerly come home to see how she’s changed or what she can do that she couldn’t do that morning.  I won’t be happy until I can hold her in my arms and make her smile.

I will never have enough time with her, but knowing that makes the time I will have with her that much more precious.  It makes me appreciative that I have this time with her now, to just enjoy being with her.  To just enjoy being a Mom.

 

About Chaos5150

I'm a medical coder by day, hermit by night, a 24 hr mommy, and a closet line-dancer whenever I get the chance. I love my daughter, I love my job, I love my friends, I love my cats, and I love my family. I love the dry heat, driving into the middle of the desert at night to see the moon and the stars, beading jewelry, torturing the unaware, and scaring people. People say I'm evil, but I'm not. I'm just a little mischievous.
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