Star Wars Day (aka: a day with my baby’s Daddy and his boys)

Today I got to do something I’ve been so excited to do since I heard about it.  Today I went to the Star Wars exhibit at the Discovery Science Center.

I know, I’m a geek.

I have been in love with Star Wars ever since I can remember.  I was three years old when the first movie came out, so its been around as long as I can remember.  Me and my friends would play  Star Wars in each others front and back yards (I was always Leia), and between me and two of my best friends we had ALL of the Star Wars figurines and toys.

I waited anxiously when I heard chapters 1-3 were being turned into movies and I sat in the theater, barely able to breathe I was so excited, as I waited for the crawl to start the Phantom Menace.

I instantly hated Jar Jar Binks.

I still deny that chapters 1-3 were turned into movies.

They were terrible.

But that’s not why I’m here.

The morning started early, getting me and baby girl ready.  It took me longer than expected to find her Star Wars onesie, but find it I did.  We were off, just a little late, to her Daddy’s to pick up him and his sons.  They piled into the car and we were off!

We got there not too long after they had opened.  We made our way to the ticket line and I looked around, and then I looked down and around.  Children were everywhere, which isn’t surprising at all as the Discovery Science Center IS for children.  What delighted me so much as that not only was I surrounded by children, I was surround by children in costume.  All around me where little Storm Troopers, Bobba Fetts, Clone Soldiers, and Darth Vaders.  I even saw a little girl about 9 whose mother had put her hair into buns just like Princess Leia’s.  My favorite, though, was a little girl….7 maybe….running around in a Darth Vader costume with her helmet off.   See?  Little girls can be Sith lords, too.

We immediately went to the Star Wars exhibit.  We walked in to models of the fighters and lots of little kiosks that had videos explaining how something was created and what the inspiration was.  Unfortunately I didn’t get to sit and listen to all of them like I wanted to because there were so many people and, well, they were in my way.  I couldn’t see half the time.  😦

There were lots of interactive things to do as well: build your own land cruiser, ride a simulated land cruiser, see if you could live on a water farm, develop your own futuristic city and see whether or not people would like it and it would function.  There were costumes, of course, and puppets.   When you were done, there was the rest of DSC to enjoy!

This exhibit may be here for children to experience, but there were plenty of older kids and grown ups there for themselves.  Be it because they didn’t have children, or they didn’t bring them, it doesn’t matter.  This is Star Wars, and everyone there grew up with those movies.  Its a part of who we are, and deep down there is a character in one of those movies that the child in us still wants to be.

Me?  I wanted to be Leia, of course.  Bold, beautiful, brave, and able to kick ass!

The day went better than I expected.  Its difficult to be around my baby’s daddy ever since I came to realize how little I actually mean to him as a person.  As me.  He cares for Rachel’s Mommy, but he doesn’t care about me as Katie at all.

Like I said, it was difficult in the first few days, but I think I have coped pretty well.  Nothing has actually changed in our manner to each other.  I am not mean to him as  see no reason to be mean to him.  Why make a difficult situation worse?  If he has noticed my being distant or closed off to him, he hasn’t mentioned it, although I seriously doubt he’s noticed at all.

I hate him when I think about 2008 and May – August 2011, and I allow myself to do so, but I also tell myself that he’s going to be around for the next 18 years, and that it’s more important for him to be in Rachel’s life than for him to be out of mine.   He is a wonderful father to her, and more than anything I am glad of that!

Again, today went well.  I got to spend some time discovering the world of Star Wars with his boys, which I am thankful for.  It really hurt me when we broke up in 2008 because, not only did I lose the imagined future life together, I lost his boys too.  Not a morning went by that I didn’t send them positive thoughts for the day, hoping that they would study hard, play well, and no injuries or sickness would come to them.

So, I may not be able to kick the baby’s daddy out of my life like I should, but in return I get to watch his sons grow into men, I get to experience life with them whenever he is willing to share.  I get to love them even though they will never know how much I actually do.

Wow, this blog went WAY out of its intended topic.

So, I’m off to bed.  Yes I know its early, but running around with the boys really wore me out!  So good night to all of you, and may you dream of galaxies far, far away…….

About Chaos5150

I'm a medical coder by day, hermit by night, a 24 hr mommy, and a closet line-dancer whenever I get the chance. I love my daughter, I love my job, I love my friends, I love my cats, and I love my family. I love the dry heat, driving into the middle of the desert at night to see the moon and the stars, beading jewelry, torturing the unaware, and scaring people. People say I'm evil, but I'm not. I'm just a little mischievous.
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