Frustration

I am so frustrated right now.  My mom informed me that she would no longer be helping me with daycare, and that’s fine.  I talked to my baby’s daddy about it and he offered to watch our daughter, but she loves daycare.  She has a blast there with her friends and Maria is so very good with the children.  For two days a week, 8-9 hours each of those two days, our daughter runs, plays, and learns.  It also is good because my baby’s daddy gets sick from time to time, as we all do, or something happens and he can’t watch her its nice to know that I have a third day of daycare at my disposal. I knew continuing to pay for daycare would hurt financially, but to me it is worth the tightening of the pocketbook.

That being said, I’m a little frustrated with my baby’s daddy.  He KNOWS that I’m having to watch my funds.  This past weekend I was so proud of myself for shopping sales and making it out of a grocery store with (pretty much) everything I needed and some extras, with the bonus of being $27 under budget.  I was even able to afford some ice cream as a special treat for us.  I had picked up two weeks worth of breakfast and things to make and bring for lunch, for both home and work.  So please consider my frustration when I go into the refrigerator to get out my things only to find that the 8oz package of Colby cheese is no longer there, and the 18 pack of eggs I had bought only have three eggs left in them.  This stuff was supposed to last for two weeks, and they disappeared overnight.

To be fair, I *believe* the cheese and the eggs (4 of which I had used over the weekend so that means 11 eggs were used) went to the makings of a frutatta(?), I believe that is what it is called.  Anyway, i know eggs are involved and I believe cheese, and he did say there was left-overs in the refrigerator for dinner…but if I had known how many eggs would go into the frutatta, I would have asked him not to make it.  There are other things that can be made.

Then, there is the cake mix that he asked if he could make, and I said yes.  Instead, he makes the brownie mix that a friend gave me to try.  I was going to make brownies and use the heart shaped cookie cutter on them.  So imagine my surprise when I get home one night and not only is there a pan of brownies in the refrigerator, but that it is over half gone.  Stupid me thought I would eat one the next day after work, but when I got home from work they were all gone.  I didn’t even get to try one.

The same thing happened to the bag of chips I had bought for lunch.  I’m *trying* to save money so I’ve started making sandwiches on the weekends for lunch, and now the weekdays.  I had bought a big party size bag of Garden Salsa Sun Chips since they were on sale, and I love them.  So Saturday, after I’ve made both me and my daughter’s sandwiches for lunch, I go to get the chips and they are gone.  He had eaten them all.  When I asked him about it he said he didn’t realize I hadn’t gotten any.  Seriously?

I’m sure this has been going on for a while, but before when I was noticed I was low on something, or something disappeared, I had the funds to go to the store the next day and replenish whatever supply I needed, but now not so much.  The fact that I had to have my apartment sprayed for pests didn’t help.  That was $134 I really couldn’t afford to spend, but it had to be taken care of and, since my land lord can be a bit of a jerk, I decided to pay for it rather than go through him.

So all in all, I’m frustrated.  I did vent a little via text message, and of course I haven’t heard from him any response (and I won’t, not regarding this issue), but I feel like I’m in a tough situation.  I did tell him that he is welcome to anything when he started coming over to watch our daughter.  This isn’t his home, but while he is here taking care of our daughter, and helping out with the cooking and cleaning, I do try to be hospitable.  If there is something I know he likes to eat on sale, I’ll pick it up for him.  Like, those hot and spicy noodles he gets at the 99 cent store, they were on sale for .88 cents each, so I picked him up a couple…or the Yuban coffee I’ll pick up because he prefers it to the flavored coffee I like.  It’s no big deal and its obviously not a huge amount of money, and I do want him to be comfortable here…but I think there is an element of consideration and common sense he isn’t using, or is ignoring, that makes me feel like I’m being taken advantage of.

To me, if a dish is going to take a whole 8oz block of cheese and 75% of the eggs in the refrigerator, ask before you use everything.  If there is something you would like to make, let me know to pick up extra eggs, cheese, milk, seasonings so everything is budgeted for and taken into account.  Eat in moderation, and please don’t eat me out of house and home!  He does help, but not enough for me to be ok with this.

He does vacuum, do the dishes, clean the stove top, take out the trash, and he will help with the litter box….but it’s hit or miss.  I’d say about 80% of the time he is here he helps out in some way, but about 30-40% of that time its, I vacuumed but didn’t get to this today, or I started the dishes but was unable to finish them.  Today I have a migraine and I don’t feel well, but when I got home he said that he didn’t have time to vacuum, he left the dishes in the sink..and the side that was soaking he had apparently poured coffee in so the dishes were soaking in coffee water and now the sink is all stained and disgusting.  The litter box hasn’t been touched.  The stove top was clean though. So tonight, with a migraine, I vacuumed, put the dishes drying in the dishwasher away, washed the dishes that were in the sink (after draining the sink and having them soak a bit in clean water), cleaned the sink and then put ajax on it to try to bleach out the coffee stain (so gross), made lunch, made dinner, and packed baby girl’s bag for daycare tomorrow.

Since writing the word “tomorrow” at the end of the previous sentence, I have given our daughter a bath, got her all ready for bed, cleaned out the litter box, and wiped the kitchen counters down with a Clorox wipe.  I’d take out the bathroom trash but I thought I was going to take it easy when I got home since I’m on my migraine meds and they make me not feel well (although I feel much better than if I had a full-blown migraine) so I changed into my nightgown not too long after I got home.

I guess the crux of the problem is this: I have no problem buying little things here and there for him, but I feel like he isn’t really pulling his weight.  I have asked him countless times to please put up the curtain rod in baby girl’s room. I’ve asked him numerous times to take the blinds that WERE up in her room down to the storage compartment in the carport, but they are still on the floor of the room.  Mind you, I’ve been asking him to do this stuff since May of 2013.  He doesn’t pay child support and yet I can count on one hand the number of food items or things he’s bought to help out.  I feel like I’m paying him to watch his own daughter.

I guess I’m just frustrated.  Thanks for letting me vent. Its time for me and baby girl to brush our teeth and go to bed.

About Chaos5150

I'm a medical coder by day, hermit by night, a 24 hr mommy, and a closet line-dancer whenever I get the chance. I love my daughter, I love my job, I love my friends, I love my cats, and I love my family. I love the dry heat, driving into the middle of the desert at night to see the moon and the stars, beading jewelry, torturing the unaware, and scaring people. People say I'm evil, but I'm not. I'm just a little mischievous.
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