I used to have an active social life, to the point where staying home and not spending my evening out on the weekends was a luxury. I deeply valued my alone time where I could just stay home, watch whatever I wanted on TV, and just relax and not be around people.
Oh how the tide has turned and now I almost long for those days. Having them as an option would be nice. It seems the friends that I had before Rachel, I can’t really connect with anymore. My world has completely changed, and theirs has stayed the same and we don’t really have much to talk about anymore because they don’t have children. The people that do have kids fall into two different categories: too young or meetup people from which I appear to be shunned.
The too young crowd are those 20- or young 30- somethings that are still going out to the clubs on the weekends and staying out all night partying. They have the energy to run around with their kid all day and then get all gussied up and go out at night. Lets be honest, by nine-thirty I’m ready for bed and sleep, and if I’m not at home by 10:00, well I’m just down-right cranky. That whole night scene really doesn’t work for me anymore.
The meetup folks, well, for the single parent groups it seems that most of the people that comprise those groups for my area don’t like Rachel’s daddy, and whenever I went to their events they never seemed to want to have anything to do with me. I would be friendly and try to meet people and let Rachel make friends, but the vibe was so unwelcoming that I just don’t do anything with them anymore. I’ve tried the mommy only groups, but most of those are for stay at home moms, which I am certainly not, so I never get to go to their functions.
Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my daughter, and each day is a treasure but, I miss having friends. I miss having some sort of a social life. An ideal one would be one that included my daughter, but it would really be nice to have more than a couple of friends with whom I could actually still relate. People that I could have play-dates with, or maybe go out for a dinner with, or a movie, or shoot pool, but like me WANT to be home early. Rachel’s daddy is almost always willing to take Rachel whenever I ask him to, rarely saying no because of some prior commitment that he doesn’t want to bring Rachel to and I’m OK with that.
I never thought I would be lonely, but I am.