Today

Today I am depressed.  It’s been creeping on for a while, that something was missing.  As happy as I am on the whole, there’s still something missing.  I’m missing the thrill of the chase, romance, love, companionship.  Its odd with how much I am in love with my current life that this would crop up now.

Everytime I think about dating I see the news, how a boyfriend or a girlfriend, or even an ex-significant other, kills a child for whatever reason I will never comprehend.  The parent says the same thing, that they never thought that person would hurt their child.  They’ve even said in the same breath as admitting they have been abusive to either them or that now deceased child, but they never though they would really hurt them.

They were wrong.

Even though I know its an extremely small percentage of those that actually date when they have children, that many outcomes are happy, I have to admit I am afraid.  So about five minutes ago I looked up my horoscope:

“Long ago you stopped believing that if you stepped on a crack you’d break your mother’s back — or that opening an umbrella indoors was going to bring bad luck. So why are you holding on to old superstitions about romance? There are no tricks to pull or mistakes to avoid — all you need to do is communicate your feelings clearly and calmly. Stop playing games and reading books to know what to do. Your heart knows what to do, so you should start listening to it.”

Well shit

About Chaos5150

I'm a medical coder by day, hermit by night, a 24 hr mommy, and a closet line-dancer whenever I get the chance. I love my daughter, I love my job, I love my friends, I love my cats, and I love my family. I love the dry heat, driving into the middle of the desert at night to see the moon and the stars, beading jewelry, torturing the unaware, and scaring people. People say I'm evil, but I'm not. I'm just a little mischievous.
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