Author Archives: Chaos5150

About Chaos5150

I'm a medical coder by day, hermit by night, a 24 hr mommy, and a closet line-dancer whenever I get the chance. I love my daughter, I love my job, I love my friends, I love my cats, and I love my family. I love the dry heat, driving into the middle of the desert at night to see the moon and the stars, beading jewelry, torturing the unaware, and scaring people. People say I'm evil, but I'm not. I'm just a little mischievous.

Two Years Later

I haven’t been here in 2 1/2 years and a lot has happened. As we all know, Covid happened. My life became really boring and I could possibly be classified as a hermit now. I’m not afraid of going outside…..I … Continue reading

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When Rachel was a wee baby and we sang her lullabies to lull her to sleep, I sang the traditional ones, and regular songs: twinkle twinkle little star, Rock-a-bye baby, Alloutte, Frer a Jaque, Que sera sera, and any other … Continue reading

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Letter to My Father

Dear Dad, I’m sorry I can’t talk to you about this in person yet.  I’m still extremely upset about the situation and I don’t know how to talk to you about this. It’s not that I’m afraid you’ll be angry, … Continue reading

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My anxiety is rising over lots of things I cannot control.  I’m dealing with it as best I can but I’m thinking I may need to see a therapist. I’m going to say that the root of my anxiety comes … Continue reading

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Silver walkway Silver Halls Silver shadows on Silver walls Silver dreams Silver kisses Silver sighs Silver wishes Silver memories Silver pictures Silver brothers Silver sisters Silver clouds Silver light Silver bridges to Silver heights Silver goodbyes on Silver wind Silver souls … Continue reading

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Anger and Fear

I am an angry person.  I was not always this way….maybe a small part but nothing like I am now.  I was always told I was patient and easy going.  Not mellow, there’s a little something too chaotic about me … Continue reading

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Protected: Ruled by Fear

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She walked down the path along the bluffs.  On her left was a fence that protected her from falling down the face of the steep bluffs, and on her right was green grass, some palm trees, and the smattering of … Continue reading

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Across the Room

I stand in the doorway and look into the room and I sense, more than see, the  crowd of people.  I feel the air being pushed around while people walk from one group to another.  I feel the heat from … Continue reading

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Today I am depressed.  It’s been creeping on for a while, that something was missing.  As happy as I am on the whole, there’s still something missing.  I’m missing the thrill of the chase, romance, love, companionship.  Its odd with … Continue reading

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